the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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