It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
