Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize