He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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