She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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