I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
