oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
