walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize