I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
