Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
