If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
