you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
