as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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