No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Four minutes until I can fart!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
