"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
