I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
