Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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