Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
