Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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