is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
