Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just threw up on my dentist
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
