Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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