Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
