Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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