drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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