I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
