I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize