It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
