Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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