Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
