That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
