he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
