I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
