where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Moan for me like Helen Keller
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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