I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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