Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize