No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
