i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
