the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
