Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
