I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
