I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
