Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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