Don't make out with my wife yet
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
