I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize