The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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