So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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