drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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