So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
