***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
