She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
