There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
