You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
