great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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