You really coming over, don't trick.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
