I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he laminated a picture of his dick.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
