Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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