Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize