are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
